I owe a lot of the last few weeks
of my life to east-facing windows.
Specifically, the east-facing
windows in my bedroom.
In the morning, when I wake up at
5:45 to get ready for work, the sun has already risen. Outside, the birds are chirping. There’s no sun to watch rise, because it’s
already risen. It might as well be 9:30
on a November morning.
As a result, two things: one, I
had to buy one of those eyeshades to keep myself from waking up at 5 on the
weekends. And two, my circadian rhythms
are all thrown off, and now my body thinks that it’s always daytime and I
should always be awake and I should never be tired.
It’s fantastic.
Something has shifted in me with
the advent of a Chicago summer. I go on
dates with boys. I go out to bars with
friends and stay for hours and have more than just one drink. I let myself stay up past eleven.
I’m not being irresponsible, but
I am having fun. Fun is something of a
new concept.
In college, I did well, I made
friends, I had a good experience. But I
was almost always the good kid. Now I’m
trying to let myself go a little bit. So
I haven’t been running in over a week.
So what? I’ve been traveling and
socializing, which are healthy in their own ways. My calluses can be built back up later. Plus it’s a million degrees outside right now. So, I don’t have to run, and I don’t have to
feel bad about not running.
So what if I only sleep four or
five hours a night? I’m not going to
look back on the nights I was out with my friends, laughing, having a ball, and
wish I’d gone home a little earlier, slept a little longer.
I spent the first nine months of
my time in Chicago going to work, going to class, coming home, and being good.
And I suppose I’m still being
good. But I’m living a little bit
more. I’m less worried about doing
everything exactly right.
The life that exhausted me a few
months ago seems hopelessly boring to me now.
I want to be outside with a bunch of people, just enjoying things. Anything.
I’m 24, and have decided that being 24 is the very best age to be.
Thank you, east-facing windows,
for giving me a wonderful start to my Chicago summer.
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